So the 2008 Beijing Olympics have come to a close.

The Olympics were a symbol of unity, sportsmanship. National pride yes, but humble, welcoming. Athletes competed against one another, pushing the boundaries of human performance, in sporting events that combined strength, speed, endurance, grace, accuracy. We put our champions on display, united as an international community and celebrated humanity in one of its pure moments.

In the Ancient Games, politics were left behind when suiting up, or suiting down, for the arena. Wars were put on hold for the brief period of competition. Competitors they were, but as equals.

Playing pool the other night, conversing with a mate about the current South Ossetia war situation, I cracked the complete shits, getting a glance at one of the plasma tv sets, monitoring the 24^th Olympiad. Australia Versus Georgia, in the Woman?s Beach Volleyball competition.

a) Since when did Beach Volleyball qualify as an Olympic Event?

b) How does Georgia have a Beach Volleyball team, with no beaches, sand or volleyballs in present day Georgia? (later confirmed with the fact that the two women were natives of Brasil and had barely spent a day in Georgia)

and c) How in the fuck does Georgia have a team representing when on the flipside, I?m switching stations and getting live action feeds of civilians being blown up in Tbilisi?

Performance enhancing drugs? Fine. Political statements when on centre stage? Everyone needs to be heard. But for fuck?s sake. Civilians are getting shelled in Soviet seperatist states, natives in Arab lands are still getting syphoned of oil at gunpoint, and we?re watching He Wenna take gold in the Women?s ?Trampolining?.

If trampolining is an Olympic Event, then so is Paddle Ball. Let me officially put in my bid to rock London in 2012, being the first Australian Paddle Ball representative. Judged on Speed, Technique, Finesse and Repetitions, I?ll bring home the Gold in an underrated and underappreciated sport. What a joke.

Take the drugs, the poor sportsmanship, the politics, the polyester mascots, the ugly uniforms, the clich? TV advertising and burn them in the next flame they start up. Get the fucking priorities right World. There?s over 40% of the population in war-torn Sudan living in poverty. Drew Barrymore has made $29.8Million AUD. For what? ?Never Been Kissed?? ?Charlie?s Angels??

We need some fucking changes, now. We don?t have much time before Australian Idol starts up again. And anyone that thinks there isn?t anything that can be done, remember this: Less than 50 years ago, the Black Man did not have the right to take a piss next to the White Man.