From what I?ve managed to garner during my time as an inquisitive male on this here planet, women and nudity often contradict each other. It?s bizarre. Discussing this matter, I will have to keep panning across different circumstances; refer to the same states in different scenarios and so on so please bear with me.

As I mentioned earlier, women and nudity will continue to work around eachother, often challenging the female?s situation/position, depending on where and when this nudity is rearing its head. You can loop all of this into ?Sex changing relationships?.

My theory is that sex, or further more, the sexual act between two partners/friends does not change the relationship. It?s the aspect of nudity that switches shit up. Most people have no problem going for gold on the dimly lit dance floor in a packed crowd to a thumping bass line. It?s when the lights come on that the inhibitions begin. Some of it can be boiled down to self consciousness, embarrassment over the state of one?s physic etc. I think it?s the actual state of complete nudity that triggers it.

Like comedian Jerry Seinfeld once said, ?Nudity is final?. I like the idea of being at a point where there is nothing left to hide, which is one reason why I was suddenly intrigued by nudist camps. If you can lounge in your birthday suit with someone, over a Mocha latte, discussing Origami, you?ve got a friend for life. Nudity is synonymous with honesty. Honesty and trust. And women have got such a problem with appearing nude in front of male partners, unless in the sexual act, it forces me to question their entire integrity. Never saw that coming, did you?

I?m generalizing now, but that appears to be the norm with such broad social commentary, so let?s not pigeonhole it.

Moving along, how many of the women out there reading this, can honestly say they feel 100% comfortable appearing starkers when in the company of a significant other? The walk to the bathroom in the morning, the walk from the bathroom to the bedroom, is almost always done with the one hand tucked over the collar of the bathrobe. The same person was probably ass down just 4 hours ago, in the solace of the dimly lit bedroom, perhaps engaging in activities that may have been illegal in some countries.

Sex itself is one of the defining barriers of a relationship.

When done correctly (mutually and consensually) it can represent the ultimate form of trust between two people. If nudity wasn?t such an issue, I believe more ?best friends? would be having sex with less hang ups the day after. For the average person who has been divirginised many times over, sex itself can evolve itself into being nothing more than the physical act (think ?fucking? and ?making love?). Thus one more inclined to have one night stands, being the purely physical aspect of it all, would have no problem appearing nude in front of someone they would most likely never see again. |

Now think of the two ?good friends? who on occasion or two, let the midnight movie and half eaten pizza lead them onto a 30 minute bash around. This can go on undisturbed, for lengthy periods of time, completely harmonious whenever the hormones see it fit, until of course, the serious sections of unexposed skin become revealed. That is when the cards are called and everyone sees where they stand.

Like animals, the one natural instinct and urge we seek to satisfy is sex. Brought into this world pantless, without the folly of woman (see Forbidden fruit) we?d have all been set to reign the world, engaging in tribal hunting, tribal war games and tribal sex. Alas, modesty and shame were introduced and we were doomed to the oxfords and slacks conformity.

Seeing as I?m getting redundant, I?ll move along to somewhat of a secondary topic, which has come up quite a bit during the last few weeks. We?ll call it ?The Power of the Cock?. That?s right. The norm has always been ?The Power of the Pussy? as I?m sure we?ve all had a mate who?s fallen victim to the captivation of the female genitalia, and reneged on previous word to go back with an ex-girlfriend for this very such thing. Enough argument has come up to clearly put the men ahead in this legendary race for power. I will site three examples;

i)        Sex & the City

ii)       Spice Girls

iii)     Dykes

i)                    Sex & the City ? In my eyes, the biggest contradiction and indication of the power. Four women spent x amount of years, gracing our screens, roaming around the world, on carefree lifestyles, living it up, rarely working but spending more on shoes than the average nation spends on health care. A front runner for the independent woman clich?, blah blah blah. Although, what did we see in the final season? A breakdown in the process, and every single one of them looking and landing the ?perfect? life. Marriage, kids, COCK. Even the slut of the group (slut  (sl t) n. A woman considered sexually promiscuous) (How many men did they bang before the series was out?) who had, to my memory, at one stage been in a strictly physical lesbian relationship, fell to the power, proving women don?t know what other women want anymore than the obvious red pecker.

ii)                   Spice Girls ? Blasted onto the music scene many years ago, running with the Girl Power brand, milking it for all it was worth. Teenage girls thought they?d be around forever, releasing double whammies of albums, a movie ?based on their lives?, fashion lines etc. Where did the runaway train hit a snag? When they garnered their social status long enough to land some snausage.  Penis ? 1.

Dykes ? Ah yes, the modern mythological creature. Dykes, being the alpha to the modern lesbian, the man hating, combat boot wearing guerrilla of the suburbs. The dyke in the lesbian relationship balances the equation of ?man and woman?, with the butch assuming the role of the bloke. If there is penetration to be had, you know where it?s coming from.

If men are such pigs then why try and substitute the male apparatus with plastic? Shouldn?t disassociation on every level be at hand? If guys are all dicks then why would vagina hunters want to wield ?em? Beats me. If Chuck Norris released a nude photo spread there would be no lesbians.

Who knows. I probably wouldn?t have written all this up if I wasn?t at home, sick. First time I?ve taken a premeditated sick day off work in years. The world?s a twisted place.

I leave you with a quote from the Kevin Smith movie ?Chasing Amy?. Jason Lee?s character Banky drops a nice little gem, which I feel sums up my entire theory.