a)     To avoid the the dangers surrounding frivolous horseplay with chairs
b)    Architectually determine the maximum seating that can be provided 

Scenario B is understandable, to a point. I lost a hip trying to get into my seat before I took notice of the concentration camp conditions. It?s a fucking joke. There are a few different types of seating available at Maccas. The typical diner booths, the metal swinglines seen in the photos, the Stools of Impalement. Add the luxury of being slammed together like sardines, and your back and ass will be ecstatic.

The place was practically empty of people and still looked cluttered. You?d have had a more relaxing stroll trying to find your way through The Minotaur?s labyrinth. How the fuck did they pass fire code restrictions? It?s simple arithmetic.

The plastic food tray is roughly 42 cm long. The gap between two swiveling, yet stationary metal chair frames is 43 cm, if that. Now, understanding no one walks through the joint with a tray at their waist, but for FUCK?S sake.

Allowing a 1cm gap between the rotating frames? What?s it like when the place is full? The human body takes up more space than the seats allow for. Forget walking with slightly bent elbows or a handbag. Remove all items of clothing at the front door. Necklaces, bracelets and earrings will be confiscated. Paraplegics will be served from the drive-thru. Anybody who outweighs a teenage girl or is taller than a Japanese midget in thongs would be advised to sit outside.

What about the instance there is a fire? It?s hard enough getting through the joint without having to come to blows with the usual commendable selection of Maccas clientele. Add the element of danger, excluding diarrhea, and you?ve got one bout of Wrestlemania on your hands. I don?t think Ronald McDonald has any idea of what?s going down in the hood these days.

I tried to get a word in with the clown, but the smug bastard sat mute, sprawled on his bench, away from the riff raff.

I wasn?t about to hassle the bloke who appeared to be the mnager. Poor middle aged looking dude, sat behind a grill, flipping burgers, beads of sweat pouring down his face, barking orders at pre-pubescent school children. No way would I ever chance a premature cardiac over someone?s McNuggets.

So in addition to the diseased yak skin being passed off as meals, the smog of stink that clouds the building and the motley crew of subordinates, it seems Ronny Mac may be ignoring the basic principles of ergonomics and safety regulations.

I have forwarded calls to the Metropolitan Fire & Emergency Services Board, the AIPS, the Gastro Ward and a voodoo doctor, all with pending confirmation. Kind of weird I?m taking steps to protect people stupid enough to eat something that would kill them, but I guess ignorance can?t be helped. Even pedophiles are given a chance to re-enter the world, no matter how many children they tamper with. Weird, wild stuff.

Fun Phat Fact of the Day: Macca?s is a deathtrap (and the food?s pretty shit)