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This is Tim. He?s angry. He?s also a boxer. He?s an angry boxer. And he?s got it in for Shannon Noll. It all started 6 years ago when Shannon Noll moved in next door to him. Close as they come, the friendship soured when Noll hit it big with his appearance on Australian Idol. ?He?s a fraud? cried Tim. ?He stole my singing style, my moves. Cunt?s a fake?. Despite never having sung in public, Tim?s musical prowess has never come under question.
Tim felt he needed to clear the air, to set things straight, in order to move on with his life. Thus he decided to go public, arriving uninvited to one of Noll?s release parties, back in 2004. The accusations did not sit well with the Noll Camp, quickly responding with restraining orders and press releases, set to defraud Tim?s good name.
As of late, it?s become no secret the hostilities have far from ceased. In an exclusive interview, Tim revealed what it has been like for him the last two years.
?Mate, you have no idea what?s goin? on. Every single day, getting calls from his management, threatening to have me vocal chords pulled out. Nollsey keeps calling me up, giving me shit.?
Apparently not happy with direct insult, Noll has been slipping homosexual slurs, aimed at Tim, in his recent music. With a bit of tweaking, using some basic home audio software, you discover the distinct phrase ?Tim?s a Fag? during the chorus of his hit single ?Now I Run?.
Commenting on Noll?s recent notoriety in the ring, Tim made no hesitation in letting on about his future intentions.
?Ever since the Mundine fight was organized, he?s been calling me up, talking about his workouts, bragging about what he benches, calling me a pussy. I?ve had enough of his shit. If he wants to go at it, I?m ready.?
So it?s come down to a challenge. One final meet to put aside the myths and end the insults. Ahead of the Noll-Mundine prize fight, Tim has declared a wildcard fight between him and the Idol contestant. Where? The Burvale Hotel carpark.
?Haha, yeah, the ol? Burvale holds a special place in my heart. It?s where I broke Nollsey in, back in the day. Taught him to be a man. So now, I?m going to teach him what its like to be a boy again.?
With no love lost, this fight has been pegged as classic match-up of ?Brother Vs Brother?. The opening round starting off at 3am, the contestants will be fighting for a counter meal, the Burvale gaining recent reputable status with its $10 Parma and pot combinations.
An unauthorized pre-fight showdown, scheduled by Tim, will surely set the tone for the upcoming bout. When asked if he was intimidated by Noll?s stature as a rising super-middleweight, with the drive to take on opponents such as Anthony Mundine, Tim showed no emotional attachment to his past with the Near-Idol.
?He?s gotta learn. I made him what he is today, an? I?m ready to take it all from him. I?ve been training for this fight me entire life?.
Catch Noll Vs T at the Burnvale Hotel Car park on the 22nd of July. 3am, Opening Round, $25 entry.
D Note: I apologise if this makes no sense to the majority of readers, the whole Vs Shannon Noll story has been a work joke for a while now, finally managing to get it down. No real incentive to mass-distribute other than in a few days, I?ll be having an operation which will put me out of complete commission, relegated to a bed, for about a month. So who knew when I?d finally get a chance to do this or anything new. Trust me to be sidelined by a condition caused by hard work and toil. Such is life. Feh.
During my absence (sitting and standing, let alone movement is completely kyboshed), the powers that be will hopefully finally have my site up and running, so with some wishful thinking the next time I drop a post you?ll be notified through a computer-generated mailing list :-) Till next time, wHoOp! |
